Alumni Spotlight - Lee H.
October 20, 2025
“Growing up, I was never a follower,” Stella alum Lee H. said. “If you told me I couldn’t do something, my mind interpreted that as an open invitation to do it.”
Despite having a large and supportive extended family—he’s the oldest of five, and both parents come from big families—Lee still struggled. He grew up in a household where you worked hard, didn’t cry, and never talked about family matters outside the home. Looking back, he knows he was attention-seeking as a child and through his teens, though he didn’t fully understand why.
When his family began to notice his substance use, Lee knew he was letting them down. Rather than face their disappointment, he began avoiding people altogether—something that nearly cost him every relationship in his life.
Previously, he had been close with his grandmother. Years of avoidance followed, but then the unexpected happened.
“Last fall, I was doing a moving job—helping an elderly woman move across town into assisted living,” he said. Knowing his grandmother lived somewhere in that area, he called his father for her address.
He was shocked to learn that she wasn’t doing well and didn’t have long to live. But Lee and his coworker still had a job to complete before he could go to her.
In what could only be called serendipity, the woman’s new unit turned out to be next door to his grandmother’s. Lee was able to be with her in her final day and spent hours reconnecting with his grandfather.
“I’d been running for so long,” he said. “But it didn’t matter what I thought was supposed to happen—God put me where I needed to be. And that’s just one example.”
FACING THE CONSEQUENCES
“You have to understand, my consequences [of addiction] never involved the legal system,” Lee said. “But in many ways, they were worse.”
His health had declined rapidly—diabetes, high blood pressure, failing kidneys, seizures, even a stroke. Something had to change, and getting sober was only part of it.
Lee, who will celebrate two years sober in December 2025, had been through Stella Maris before. He completed the program in 2020, but left overly confident in his ability to stay sober. A 30-day stay hadn’t been enough; he hadn’t yet experienced the mindset shift needed for lasting recovery.
The second time around, things are different. His mind is open, his perspective is new. He has a sponsor he connects with and is rebuilding a bond with his family. He’s changed his diet, goes to the gym, and takes sobriety seriously.
“My confidence shot through the roof,” he said. “If I could do this, what else could I do? This is the best I’ve ever felt in my life.”
Today, Lee still attends six or seven meetings a week and serves as a House Father in one of Stella’s sober homes. “If even 30% of the world had their own Stella Maris,” he said, “the world would be a better place.”
LIVING WITH PURPOSE
Lee works as a chef at a local supper club, where he was recently promoted to supervisor. He donates leftover food at the end of each night to the Stella community.
More importantly, he’s learned how to handle challenges—like cooking with alcohol in recipes. The first time it happened, before he could panic, a coworker in recovery stepped in to help.
“It was enough to remind me what’s really important,” Lee said. “Every day I have to choose to make good decisions. It’s not always easy, but I’ve come too far to throw it all away now.”
He’s working on repairing relationships, knowing he may never be completely done making amends.
In the past, Lee didn’t just party to celebrate, he partied when he was sad, frustrated, or angry. “I’ve got different moves now,” he said. “I can tolerate a little bit of uncomfortable because the alternative just isn’t worth it.”
SIGNS ALONG THE WAY
Lee often reflects on moments that impacted his recovery journey —helping that woman move and finding himself at his grandmother’s side, or having a coworker appear right when he needed support.
Moments like those—unexpected help, just when you need it, “little God winks,” — are constant reminders of how far he’s come and how to keep moving forward on the right path.
“Good things have been happening to me since I came to Stella,” he said. “I didn’t have to go searching for them. Once I got sober, things just fell into place. I’ve started smiling again. And I’m so grateful.”
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